What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common? They both like a tight seal.

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Mega-sore-ass

What is the difference between Olympic swimmers and Olympic divers? Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows.

What has three teeth and sixty feet? The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

What is the new O.J. web site address? Slash.slash.backslash.escape

What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration.

What did the banana say to the vibrator? What are YOU shaking for? She's going to eat me!

What is the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather...kinky is using the whole chicken.

What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well-hung

What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can't hear an enzyme.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One... Men will screw anything.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with....The other is used to carry groceries.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute? The one that's labeled "IDAHO"

Why don't blind people skydive? Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit-bull

What is the difference between a peeping tom and a robber? A robber snatches watches.

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Cuz every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat ---